A Struggling Syrian

Just ran into some fellow syrians at the Austin airport in Texas. They work for BEATS – RHYMES – RELIEF – a nonprofit organization that fundraises and raises awareness about the ongoing tumult in Syria. Almost a million refugees have been forced to relocate, and thousands of lives have been lost. The cause of the conflict is up to debate still – to the misfortune of many Syrians, especially the innocent victims. The ideological, religious, and ethnic divide in Syria has become more clear than ever – but there is no telling if these tensions preceded the crisis – or if they merely formed out of it. Fundamentalism is rampant in today’s world, from the pews of Utah – where evangelism and mormonism are the norm – to the Wahhabi districts of Saudi Arabia. This type of fundamentalism is pouring into Syria; whether it is in resistance to the Syrian government or merely a foreign plot. This is where the tale is at this moment – who is to blame? Well, I must say, it is extremely awkward to run into Syrians nowadays because I can feel the religious undertones gripping the consciences of every one of them even in the lightest of conversations. It is a really sad epidemic – this religious dogmatic fear-mongering-inspired prejudice. This phenomenon grips the whole world though – and has since the dawn of time – evident in conservative traditions and laws. The West struggles to break free from Judaic-Christian dogmatism in search for a lighter, more loving, peaceful (liberal) version; The East struggles to break free from an equally dogmatic militant-buddhist-ascetic and authoritatively indoctrinated atheism (from China to Malaysia to Myanmar); and in the Middle East; it is a struggle against the dogmas of Wahhabism, salafism, zionism, christian zealotry, self-righteous authoritarian theocratic Islamism (versus moderate Islam). Everywhere in the world, this struggle ensues; in all levels and scales; from minor conversations over coffee between friends and neighbors to the battlefields in Kashmir; philosophy collides. When all groups collide and there is no longer room for debate – when minds are freed and hate eradicated – it’ll give us purpose to live eternally basking in the struggle to maintain philosophical truth. The struggle is equally economic as much as it is social and religious – it is all in one. I guess that makes it beautiful – despite all the ugliness we see. But then again – there is a little beauty in ugliness – is there not?

RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman

A clip from a great film starring the late Philip Seymour Hoffman. RIP.

I guess till I support myself entirely I will always be under the influence and wing and pressures of those who I live with collectively. I can’t be fully free because of the guilt factor and I can’t do what I want because people are expecting me to cater to their wants and needs instead of my wants and needs. It is as if they use me simply because they help me. That isn’t love. That is selfishness.

What I’m Learning

Take matters into your own hands.

God Free Me

Sometimes we do things because society or our parents or our religion tells us to do it. Sometimes those things are stupid, like cutting off friends, or becoming paranoid about people and not trusting them. I’ve been a victim of it. It really sucks because you begin to become paranoid and stuff, about people around and you start to question whether or not you will regret this or that decision. I cut some of the closest friends to me out of my life for whatever reason, because I was afraid of getting caught in commitments, because of nonsense and lies that corrupt our minds and make us do stupid shit.

Even worse now I am stressed by low money. My last name is Krikorian and I think I am en elitist royalty and yet I am living in this democratic rags-to-riches nation called America where all men are treated and regarded equally expecting to achieve greatness.

This struggle. Everyday. My heart thumping. The subconscious worry of not doing the traditional right thing. The worry about speaking out and getting spurned for my curiosity.

I want to say things like Fuck Israel and Religion openly. I want to challenge all the lies we are fed everyday. I want to challenge all limits on all our desires. I want to challenge contemporary wisdom that tells us to fear “too much freedom”, as if something Hitler-resque will take over if we speak our minds and spread truth.

Fuck this nonsense about people being sensitive.

Ask questions. Even in hard times.

Question 9/11. Question the NRA. Question America. Question Obama. Question Morality.

Do not stand idle. Do not be afraid. Fear leads us to destroy the things we love. Don’t be a slave and a pawn in the modern world.

People are so damn sensitive these days. You can’t even ask questions like WHY IS SOCIALISM BAD without people thinking you are a communist, an extremist, and anti-american.

You can’t question anything these days without hurting somebody’s feelings, which is complete bullshit. This perpetuates ignorance and in fact stimulates it.

If there’s anything I like about Trinidad James it’s his philosophy of do you.

In his words, oh humanity, I say to you:


I need a cigarette and some green now.

P.S. Its like people are afraid we’ll lose ourselves as a human race, our innocence, our truth and compassion if we are too free. This is a lie. We will be free. Do not allow the ignorance of self-deprivation lead you to jealousy of those who have attained greatness. Instead, seek their greatness. Admire them. Love them. Applaud them. Pursue your destiny!