I guess till I support myself entirely I will always be under the influence and wing and pressures of those who I live with collectively. I can’t be fully free because of the guilt factor and I can’t do what I want because people are expecting me to cater to their wants and needs instead of my wants and needs. It is as if they use me simply because they help me. That isn’t love. That is selfishness.

The Experience


How much longer can I really wait before I do this? Money is getting low. Mind is going numb. Body is feeling it. Philosophically reaching answers. Gathering courage.

You know, its crazy come to think of it, the extent to which I want to achieve things, both spiritually and personally.

I have many ambitions. May they come to fruition. 

real?


its funny what they say about reality, because my reality is the exact opposite of theirs.

Pain


if you haven’t felt heart break, if you haven’t felt true pain and suffering, you are not a true human.

heaven


is in freedom.

Inner Turmoil


by Tim Essex

What will tomorrow’s weather bring,

What will the weather bring,

Tomorrow when…yes, tomorrow,

How am I to track every thing?

 

Thought I’d dance this night away,

While yesterday I yearned to sing,

Today my studies are still unfinished,

My anxiousness is lingering.

 

I’ve done what ought to be done,

What I lost before has been won,

But what of tomorrow; what will it bring?

Imagine if we have no sun.

D.O.G.M.A.M.G.O.D.


It’s incredible how much we change in one single day.

Our moods change. Our opinions change. Our beliefs change. Our feelings change.

So much change.

For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why. Instead of accepting it, I tried to resist  it.

I thought something was wrong with me. I thought something was out of the loop. I thought I wasn’t ordinary.

But it turns out, it’s just part of being human.

At least that’s what I believe.

What isn’t ordinary however, is trying to resist these changes; trying to resist the natural flow of things.

The reason I say that is because I believe these changes to be part of a bigger picture.

Some people call that bigger picture Nature.

I call it God.