qadar


Really putting things into perspective. Realty is quite odd. The place I am and struggle to realize — to come to terms with. Still, everyday. Trying to convince my self of so much and learning the vanities of life meanwhile. All these fears and illusions which hold us back. Sometimes they seem illusory. Like nothing even existed from the start. Struggling to get where I am going with all these paranoias in mind. Its the struggle. This is where ideas like socialism and beliefs come into appeal. This is also where originality and spontaneity are born — the products of infinite choices. Wow. 

Am I hostage to fatalism, what is this angry prison I’ve been in,

Searching for John Lennon’s wisdom in all the symbolism,

Let a rock hit him, something to soften him,

I’m rotting but only from the scoffing at my shoe.

a maschine & new york city


wouldn’t mind that. a flat in manhattan. manflattan. post up. whiskey. 12 blunts. the smell of freshly floored cherrywood. ah, the life. studio life. maschine and coffee. cigarettes of course. my homie yousef stopping by every once in a while with christina for the spins. this is the life. just wait. 

Studio #


So it’s either going to be alone on this piece of shit or it is going to be in a full studio with all the equipment. I’m trying to be vague for the sake of you know what, but anyways. Do I go and push my way through? I mean that’s my fate is it not? All I needed was the right position to start from. The right footing.

The World to Come 2


And so here I am. Prepared to release more than ever. Prepared to be me. Who will surround me? Who will abandon me? Anyone? I have nothing but love, forgiveness and mercy in my heart, justice and happiness. I want to express all of me to the perfect extent. How do I obtain this position? Have I already? Yes. I am meticulous. I trust in God too. So where is it then? This is my mind, the world, together. I am me. I have always been afraid of not only being mistrusted but also being misunderstood but I’ll banish that with the purity of my heart which I obtained from mama dukes. I refuse to not be the me I want to be. 

The World to Come


I’m here debating where it is I’m headed. I have my trust, and my doubts. Perhaps the latter being  ungrateful. As human as I am I cannot help it. Seems to me everyday I debate the same things and yet I am still reliant on the one true thing I believe in, the one thing that not only is true to all but special to me – what some in this world have sought to strip me of. I believe God protects me and I am sick of the fear I have used to pity the fools with and I am especially sick of feeling undermined which, based on the virtue of a perfect Lord, cannot be done. The demons try to shake you up but they are nothing but just that – demons. I’ve been on a quest for my name for some time now, and I think there is a correlation between these two conflicts – the more I look into it, everything is directly connected and correlated to each other. So who am I? Many things. And when is it going to come that I just do all of them and stop with all the reservations? Here I indulge a fatalist, destitute thought process, coupled with another extreme, and another extreme. But I am me. Artist. Messenger. Son of Yahweh. Elohim. Allah. Islam. I am a semite from the Middle East and I come from two worlds – three even. With all these bloods and spirits combined they formed me – to which the devil shouts narcissist. The devil is a narcissist who hates other narcissists. So if we are all narcissists who is wrong? The one in denial and ascetic self-deprivation or at least the one who tries to prevent self-expression for the sake of preserving power. So much thinking. But I am a genius, to your inner devil – your inner hypocrite/demon. I see myself and the Lord. Allah. Elohim. Do not question Daniel. March forth. How did I obtain this name and how has my father the jew boy who is also armenian suffered? Ah, now I feel too much is being released but perhaps what this is my own personal journal through which I discover myself and my path and through which I attain not only peace but complete peace – mental solitude/perfection. The state of mind I’ve always been in in which I am merely – ME.